The Tale of Kirkus Academy
by Mark of CTown
Summary: A story that parodies all types of Halloween movies that involve a school as the 'horror house! I passed this in as a Creative Writing assignment! Your reviews and opinions are greatly appriecated! R n R PLEASE!


**A/N: First off, I wrote this as a Halloween essay that parodies all Halloween movies that involve schools as the 'horror house'. Please enjoy!**

**The Tale of Kirkus Academy**

One Halloween night the stars shone brightly and the wind blew through the thick tree branches, causing the leaves to flutter gently. It was peaceful, savor the noise being made by the trick-or-treaters as they skipped happily from house to house, gathering their candy. All seemed right in the town of Pocantico Hills, but it was not.

Out a few miles from the main tourist center of the town sat a school, Kirkus Academy for Boys. Many a passerby walked by the school on Halloween night, and they only seemed to eye the building more then once. They found nothing wrong with it, but a few questioned the light shining dimly through the basement windows. Nobody was supposed to be in the school at night, even though it was a boarding school. The dormitories, however, were supposed to be outback.

Inside the school, gazing out a darkened window, stood fourteen year-old Zachary Hillman. He had light blonde hair and blue eyes that were hidden behind large rimmed glasses. He was skinny but not lankly, pale but not quite fair skinned. His eyes scanned the ground, searching for anyone who dared to come close enough to the school. There were people who walked by, but they were on the sidewalk and were not possibly close enough for Zachary to signal for help.

Zachary could not speak.

He could not yell, whisper, talk in anyway possible. Zachary hadn't been born mute. These 'students' and that 'faculty' of Kirkus Academy had made him mute. They had not trusted Zachary; they thought he would blurt the secrets that were hidden in the basement of the school. So they did the only thing that they believed would keep Zachary quiet.

They sewed his mouth shut.

Even as disgusting as it sounded, Zachary had felt no pain. He could barely remember what had happened those five days ago when a student whom he had trusted as a friend led him downstairs and tackled him. Due to Zachary's small stature he could not fight back effectively, and was strapped to a table. A few centimeters of lip - color thread and half an hour later it was finished.

Now Zachary had been confined to the upper room floor of Kirkus Academy. He could do nothing but watch as the students and faculty toiled around each day, plotting weird science experiments to conduct later in the evening. Those students who passed him by gave him one of two looks: pity looks or sneers.

Zachary slipped to the cold, stone floor. He felt wet, hot tears singeing his eyes. He wiped at them with his hand. He was hungry and tired; he had barely any energy left in his body. He wasn't sure how much longer he would last by breathing through his nose.

Zachary made an attempt at sighing, and a small amount of air managed to escape his lips. His mind drifted back to early August, when he was still living in Rhode Island with his family. He remembered the night that he made his final decision to attend Kirkus Academy.

"Zachary! Please don't go to Kirkus Academy! Please!" begged Francis, Zachary's eleven year old brother.

Zachary shook free of his brother's grip. "How many times must I tell you this, Francis? I've made up my mind. Kirkus Academy seems like a good school, and that is were I want to spend my four years of high school!"

"But New York is so far away!" Francis quipped.

"It's only a three hour drive!" Zachary exclaimed in an exasperated sigh.

"Three hours is a long car drive for our family incase you need us!" Francis exclaimed, regaining his grip on Zachary's arm. Francis was not a small child for an eleven year old.

"No! No! No!" Zachary almost screamed. He pulled free yet again and stormed off into the kitchen. His sixteen year old brother Greg, four year old brother Michael, and both parents were all moving around, doing things.

"Will someone please tell Zachary that Kirkus Academy is a weird school!" Francis cried out as he ran into the kitchen.

"What makes you say that?" Greg asked.

Zachary rolled his eyes as Francis started in on his next explanation. "When we went with Zachary to visit Kirkus Academy in June something about the school didn't feel right to me," Francis started off as he began to pace around the kitchen. "Something about it struck me with the thought that Kirkus Academy might be like those schools in some of the horror films. They look normal to the public eye, but they are actually headquarters for science experiments!"

"That's absurd!" Zachary cried out. "Of all the tall tales you tell, Francis, that one was the tallest of them all!"

"Your brother is right, Francis," his mother agreed. "There is absolutely nothing wrong with Kirkus Academy. It's as normal as every other school!"

Francis's eyes began to well up with tears behind his glasses, and Zachary braced himself for one of his brother's normal outbreaks.

"Fine!" Francis yelled. "Fine! Believe Zachary and not me!" He then stormed upstairs to the room that he and Zachary shared.

Zachary knew that there would be loads of tension when he went to bed later that night.

Another sigh managed to escape Zachary's lips as he pulled back to reality. He could almost see the look on Francis's face once he found out that he had been right about Kirkus Academy all along. If he found out. That would all depend on whether or not Zachary could escape from the school and alert someone, anyone, for help. Zachary had already tried to escape through a window or a door, but both had been securely locked at night.

Zachary was about to pull himself up from the floor when two seniors, Rob and Karl, walked by and spotted him. They stopped in their tracks and turned to face Zachary. Each had their own peculiar looks on their faces.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't little Zachary Hillman!" Rob said, smirking.

Karl laughed. "Yeah! Look what his big mouth got him!" he answered, pointing at Zachary's lips. Zachary's hands flew over his lips, covering them from view. Both boys laughed louder.

"Let's get out of here!" Rob said.

"Yeah!" responded Karl. "The basement might be fun tonight! Maybe they'll even have Halloween candy for us down there!"

"Why don't you just go trick-or-treating with the little kids?" Robbie asked sarcastically as they began to walk away.

"Are you kidding me? I'm not ten anymore!" Karl retorted.

Soon both of the voices become fainter and fainter until Zachary could hear them no more. He quickly pulled himself off the floor. He looked both ways and then disappeared into a doorway to the right of him. Zachary quickly climbed up the stairs until he came to the attic floor. He pushed open the door and walked in.

He surveyed the room. It was filled with moonlight, boxes, and dust. Zachary stepped farther into the room. He found nothing that interested him and he began to turn around when he heard someone yell out "Wait!"

Zachary spun around again. In the corner of the room, hands bounded, sat two sophomores named Ian and Clark. Zachary hadn't seen Ian and Clark in over a month, and now he knew where both boys had seemed to disappear to.

"Please untie us!" Clark pleaded from his spot on the floor.

"We've been trapped up here for days!" cried out Ian.

"Weeks!" added on Clark.

"Most likely months!" Ian exclaimed. "Well, maybe a month."

Zachary reluctantly walked over to Ian and Clark. It took him a few minutes to untie both boys. The knots had been well done. They were most likely tied by Klaus, a junior who was well known for being able to tie things tightly.

Once they were free Ian and Clark stood up to their full heights. Both boys, despite their ages, where both over six feet. Ian had dark hair that he kept in the buzz cut style and Clark had a mop of blonde hair. Both boys had brown eyes.

"Thank you!" they both said in unison. Zachary nodded. Both boys seemed to study him for a moment, as if trying to remember who he was.

"Who are you?" Ian asked. Zachary looked sheepishly to the floor.

"Answer us!" Ian said after Zachary did not answer. "We won't hurt you!" Zachary felt his face glowing red. He was wishing to be any place but here, at this very moment.

Clark, however, finally came up with an answer to Ian's two questions.

"That's Zachary Hillman!" Clark exclaimed. "That's the freshmen that Klaus and one of his friends had been talking about when they came up here the other day!"

Ian's eyes filled with curiosity. "Is your mouth really sewed shut?" Ian asked. Zachary raised his head so Ian and Clark could get a good look. Both boys gasped as they stared at the red thread that was keeping the young freshmen's lips sealed.

"Oh dear," Clark whispered. Ian's mouth dropped open. "Ouch," he added on after a moment.

Zachary shrugged. "_It didn't really hurt too much,_" he thought in a way that would seem as an answer to Clark's ouch. "_You both are lucky that you didn't have this happen to you. But I really think that we should stop wondering about my lips and start wondering about how we're going to get out of here before somebody finds us." _

"I think we should get out of here," Clark said suddenly. Zachary smiled. It seemed as if Clark had read his mind. Zachary nodded to show that he liked Clark's idea, and Ian did too. The three boys huddled together to form a plan.

After what felt like fifteen minutes the three boys had come up with a plan. Clark and Ian came up with most of it, but Zachary could either nod or shake his head whenever they asked him if they thought the plan was okay.

It was rather easy and simple. Clark and Ian would find a way to distract the students and faculty of Kirkus Academy. Zachary would be able to sneak into the main office, without being seen, and steal the keys to unlock the door. Then they would leave, as planned.

The boys crept out of the attic onto the landing of the second floor. Before entering into the main hallway, Zachary placed his ear to the door and paused to listen for any footsteps. He could hear and feel his heart thumping in his chest. It was so loud that Zachary could barely hear what was going on outside of the door. Finally, he pulled the door open and motioned for the boys to slip out.

"Alright. Zachary, you head to the office right away," Clark commanded, "Ian and I will distract the mad scientists!" With that said the three boys split up. Zachary headed straight to the main office. When he reached it he pulled at the door. It was locked.

"_Locked!" _Zachary thought to himself. _"Of all the times that Headmaster Bueller had to lock his office he chose tonight! Now what am I going to do? Nothing good can come from a boy who just happens to have his mouth sewed shut!"_

Zachary kicked the wall in frustration. A yelping noise escaped from his lips and he slid onto the floor, knocking down some of the Halloween essays that had been hanging on the wall behind him. Zachary grabbed at the papers and threw them into the corner. He then buried his head into his knees, hoping that Clark and Ian were okay. As for himself, he was trying to think of another way out.

Ian and Clark crept quietly down the staircases that led to the basement floor. Once down there the boys were surprised to find that all the lights were on. They both surveyed the basement floor; it looked the same as the upper two. Both boys were also lucky enough to see that none of the 'mad scientists' were walking around and easily spotting their entrance.

"Okay, remind me how we're going to distract everyone again," Ian whispered in Clark's ear as he shut the door to the basement floor.

"I wish I knew," Clark answered back.

Ian kicked Clark in the shin. "Great thinking genius!" Ian hissed in his ear. "We're going to end up just like Zachary!"

"What makes you say that?" Clark asked.

However, Ian did not answer. Instead his face grew pale and his eyes became wide. A look of horror became his newest expression. Clark looked over his shoulder to see what Ian was staring at. Within a brief moment Clark's face easily resembled Ian's.

Standing behind them was Headmaster Bueller and two rather large students.

"Hello boys," Headmaster Bueller said in what he must have believed to be a sweet tone of voice. "Out from the attic, I see?"

Ian and Clark remained mute. The two boys standing next to Headmaster Bueller grabbed the two boys and easily pulled them across the hallway to the entrance of the science laboratory. They were shoved inside. Both boys were jerked out of their shock on impact, and they looked at their surroundings.

All the other students looked over their backs at the two boys. They all seemed to be split up into groups, and each group was standing at their own table. On these tables were materials of all sorts; from scissors to knives to red thread to things in bottles. All of the students seemed to be wearing the same expressions on their faces; they were smirking at Clark and Ian.

"Look who came to join us for a little while, boys," Headmaster Bueller said as he entered the room. "Ian and Clark just couldn't wait to come and spend some quality time with us this fine Halloween night."

All the boys laughed loudly.

Zachary thought long and hard on what he could do to escape from Kirkus Academy. He raked his mind for ideas, but none seemed to come. Zachary felt on the brink of tears, and his heart pounded frantically. A single memory, one that he hadn't thought of in at least two months since it happened, flooded slowly and quietly into Zachary's brain.

"Alright! Let's go! We have four hours to get to New York!" Mr. Hillman called to Zachary. Zachary came bounding down the stairs, out the front door, and into his car. His mother was already sitting in the front seat. His father got in the car.

Standing on the front porch were Zachary's grandparents, Greg, Michael, and Francis. All but Francis were waving frantically and calling out their best wishes at Zachary. Mr. Hillman began to pull away, and his the cheers of his family only grew louder.

The car began to roll slowly down the street. Zachary looked over his shoulder at his family that he was leaving behind until Thanksgiving. Almost in an instant Zachary's eyes fell on Francis. Francis stood there, as still as a stone, staring solemnly at him. In an odd way Zachary and Francis seemed to connect for a moment.

Zachary could almost hear his brother's thoughts. He knew right away that Francis was feeling troubled for him. A sudden feeling of regret surged throughout Zachary's body. Zachary trembled for a moment. He turned around quickly and closed his eyes for a minute, in a way for which he hoped would help this odd feeling wear off. Zachary reopened his eyes, and he looked back again. What he saw next amazed him.

Even from the distance, Zachary could see the single tear from at the edge of Francis's light blue eyes slip slowly behind his glasses and down his cheek. Then Francis turned around and stormed inside.

Zachary opened his eyes and stood up. An idea had finally came to him, after his brief moment of remembering. Zachary looked across from where he was standing. A clever smiled graced his eyes, and Zachary almost felt like laughing maniacally. But, in Zachary's current condition, laughing manically could not be allowed.

Zachary walked over to the fire alarm. It would be the perfect tool to help him get out of Kirkus Academy. Zachary knew that the doors and windows had automatic locks that reacted to certain things. Zachary also knew that, if he pulled open the fire alarm, the doors and windows would unlock automatically. This theory was something he had learned from Headmaster Bueller in the beginning of the year.

However, Zachary realized that there was only one thing that would present a problem. The fire alarm was incased in a glass container. It was locked and would not open. Zachary knew that he would have to break that glass to reach the alarm. At first Zachary thought that he would punch his fist threw the glass, but he did not need a bloody hand.

Zachary sighed and looked down at his feet. The clever look came roaring back into Zachary's eyes. He leaned down and quickly wiped a shoe of his foot. He then raised the shoe to level with the fire alarm. Zachary took aim. Then, as quickly as possible, Zachary thrust his shoe at the fire alarm.

The glass shattered almost instantly.

Zachary smiled triumphantly. He shook the glass from his shoe and slipped it back onto his foot. Then, as carefully as possible, Zachary pulled some spare chunks of glass from around the fire alarm away and threw them to the floor of his 'prison'. He braced himself for what he was to do next.

Zachary raised a shaking hand to the fire alarm. He tightened his grip on the handle. Eyes shut, Zachary pulled as hard as he could.

The sudden sound of the fire alarm caused Ian to utter a shriek of terror. All the boys and faculty looked wildly around. The same thought was being thought by every person in that room. Why was the fire alarm going off?

Clark, being a clever and smart student, was the first person to come up with an answer.

"Zachary pulled the fire alarm!" Clark whispered to Ian from the place he had been thrown into. "He's trying to help us escape!"

Ian nodded to show that he understood. As for everyone else in the laboratory had formed a straight line and were slowly filing out a back door. As the last member of the faculty stepped out, Headmaster Bueller turned to the two boys and said, "Isn't it a shame that the basement floor doesn't have an automatic unlocking system?" He laughed loudly as he locked the basement door.

Ian and Clark wasted no time. The jumped up and ran out of the laboratory door. Into the stairwell and up to flights of staircases they hustled, until finally they came to the second floor. They ran down the hallway until the found Zachary.

"Let's go!" shouted Clark as he grabbed Zachary by the arm and tugged him along.

"Were are we going?" Ian yelled to Clark. "The front door is that way!"

"First off, we're not going to the front door!" Clark shouted as he peered over his shoulder. "The entire school will be out front. We're exiting through the gym, and then we're running down to the police station in main Pocantico Hills!"

With that said the boys made their entrance into the gym. Zachary's heart was pounding madly, but he would not stop running. Finally they were out the front door and into the chilly October air. Faint traces of red and white lights blinked on the side of the building, alerting the boys that the fire department had arrived.

Within a few minutes the boys were running along the main road. Trick-or-treaters and their families watched in awe as the three boys went flying down the street, Clark leading Ian and Zachary. Many young children were pulled out of the boys' way, and a few rowdy and most likely drunk teenagers gave forth cheers of approval. In fact, quite a few of the teenagers began to run behind Ian and Zachary, waving their arms and calling out "Run Forest! Run!"

Down another street and through a busy intersection ran the small group of people. They were slowly gaining more and more members, all of whom were cheering "Run Forest! Run!" A few police officers tried to stop the three leading boys, but they could not be stopped. They had a mission to complete, and complete they would.

Finally they reached the police station. Clark thrust the door open, Ian and Zachary following him inside. The group they had attracted stood outside, peering through the floor-length window. The three boys walked up slowly to the main desk. A female officer smiled sweetly at the boys. Without even waiting for her to say anything, Clark and Ian took turns telling her the story of Kirkus Academy.

When they were finished, the female officer raised her eyebrows questioningly at them. After a moment of studying Ian and Clark she came upon the decision to speak.

"Are you telling me that the students and faculty of Kirkus Academy are actually 'mad scientists' who sewed the mouth of a freshman shut and bounded both of you in the attic?" she asked them suspiciously.

Both boys nodded.

The female officer turned around and spoke something to an officer behind her. After a minute's discussion she turned back to the two boys and smiled sweetly again.

"I'm afraid we'll have to put both of you boys through the alcohol and drug tests," she said. Two police officers appeared next to Ian, who cowered slightly.

They were about to take both boys captive when Clark cried out, "If you don't believe us, take a look at Zachary!" He moved aside to reveal Zachary, who had been blocked from view behind the large frames of Ian and Clark.

The female officer walked out from behind the counter and kneeled down to reach eye level with Zachary. She peered at him for a moment, and suddenly her eyes grew wide. She raised her hand and gently touched her fingers to Zachary's lips. Zachary winced in pain as the fingers touched the thread. The female officer gasped and reached into her pocket for something. Then next thing Zachary saw before he shut his eyes in fear was a knife.

He could sense the edge of the blade near his lips. He heard a noise that sounded of something being ripped. His lips became lose. Zachary opened his eyes and reached his own fingers out to touch his lips.

The main bits of thread that were keeping his lips bound tightly together were gone. Zachary breathed in his first breath of fresh air in five days. Smiling a smile that showed his teeth and braces, he looked to Ian and Clark and said:

"I can speak." Zachary almost jumped for joy at the sound of his slowly deepening voice as it filled the room. "I can speak again."

Ian and Clark smiled satisfactorily as the two police officers loosened their grips of their shoulders. The female officer was in the corner of the room, giving out orders to other members of the station to make haste for Kirkus Academy. The group of people were still standing at the window, the cheer of "Run Forest! Run!" being heard faintly.

Zachary smiled once more and then slipped into a faint.

Zachary's eyes fluttered open. He was staring at a ceiling. He sat up. He was in a bed, in what looked like to be a hospital room. He looked around slowly. The room was empty, but the door stood ajar. He lifted his hands to his lips. All the pieces of thread had been removed.

"He's awake! He's awake!" a voice shouted all of the sudden.

Zachary stared on in amazement as Michael came running into the room. He jumped onto the hospital bed and wrapped his arms around Zachary's neck. Zachary hugged his youngest brother back. Following Michael were their parents, grandparents, Greg, Ian and Clark.

They all crowded around Zachary. Ian and Clark told him stories about what had happened later that night. They also showed him newspaper clippings of Kirkus Academy from the newspaper. The newspaper contained stories about what had happened last night, and it even showed a picture of Headmaster Bueller in handcuffs.

His parents, grandparents, and two brothers were talking a mile a minute about how much they had missed him. They also spoke of their disbelief about what had occurred on Halloween, and how they would never let Zachary go away until college.

Zachary was overwhelmed with all this. He was barely listening to his family talk, though. Instead he was wondering where Francis was. Zachary had noticed that his brother had not come running into the room with the rest of the family. Maybe he had stayed at home. Maybe he didn't care for Zachary any more.

"I told you so," a voice said suddenly, from the corner of the hospital room. Zachary turned his head to see Francis standing not too far from his bedside. His face carried the same solemn look that it normally carried, but his eyes shone playfully from behind his glasses.

"What did I tell you?" Francis asked as he walked up to Zachary's side. "I warned you that Kirkus Academy was one of those schools from all of the horror films. But did you believe me? No."

Zachary sighed and said, "Francis, I..."

Zachary never got to finish his statement. Francis had wrapped his arms around Zachary in a breath-taking hug so fast that Zachary had been unaware of it. After a moment of getting over his shock Zachary slipped his arms around his brother and held him. He could feel Francis trembling, and Zachary knew that his brother had burst into tears.

"Stop crying Francis," Zachary said when Francis broke away. Francis smiled sheepishly and wiped at the tears pouring down from his eyes.

"You were right and I was wrong," Zachary continued on. "I'll listen to you next time."

"Promise?" Francis asked.

"Promise," Zachary answered. He smiled brightly.

Now he would never have to go back to Kirkus Academy. It was no more.

**Please review! **


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